While trawling online seeking employment, I’ve come across some intriguing job titles. Here are just some opportunities, their descriptions and a reading-between-the-lines comment from me…

1. Funeral services operative

They say: ‘Our people need to bring their natural selves to work each day’

I say: ‘I see dead people’

 

2. Clinical photographer

They say: ‘You will be expected to photograph patients on wards, in operating theatres and the mortuary’

I say: ‘I shoot dead people’

 

3. Complaint handler

They say: ‘This role requires a sensitive manner at all times’

I say: ‘Can’t complain about that’

 

4. Paintball marshal

They say: ‘Send a CV if you have a passion for paintball’

I say: ‘Wonder if you get to paint the town red?’

 

5. Awesomely fun science presenter in Brighton

They say: ‘Would you love to make science fun for children as a job?’

I say: ‘Big bang comes to the beach’

 

6. Sandwich artists

They say: ‘Sandwich artists thrive in a busy work environment’

I say: ‘Get creative with cucumber’

 

7. Indoor air quality supervisor

They say: ‘Join a dynamic team’

I say: ‘Sounds like a breath of fresh air’

 

8. Acute floor administrator

They say: ‘Build upon skills you already possess’

I say: ‘What if you’re not cute?’

 

9. Aircraft refueller

They say: ‘Health and safety awareness essential’

I say: ‘Plane sailing at the pumps?’

 

10. Aircraft cleaner

They say: ‘Must have full British driving licence and a head for heights’

I say: ‘Prepare for landing cleaning job – with wings on’