While trawling online seeking employment, I’ve come across some intriguing job titles. Here are just some opportunities, their descriptions and a reading-between-the-lines comment from me…
1. Funeral services operative
They say: ‘Our people need to bring their natural selves to work each day’
I say: ‘I see dead people’
2. Clinical photographer
They say: ‘You will be expected to photograph patients on wards, in operating theatres and the mortuary’
I say: ‘I shoot dead people’
3. Complaint handler
They say: ‘This role requires a sensitive manner at all times’
I say: ‘Can’t complain about that’
4. Paintball marshal
They say: ‘Send a CV if you have a passion for paintball’
I say: ‘Wonder if you get to paint the town red?’
5. Awesomely fun science presenter in Brighton
They say: ‘Would you love to make science fun for children as a job?’
I say: ‘Big bang comes to the beach’
6. Sandwich artists
They say: ‘Sandwich artists thrive in a busy work environment’
I say: ‘Get creative with cucumber’
7. Indoor air quality supervisor
They say: ‘Join a dynamic team’
I say: ‘Sounds like a breath of fresh air’
8. Acute floor administrator
They say: ‘Build upon skills you already possess’
I say: ‘What if you’re not cute?’
9. Aircraft refueller
They say: ‘Health and safety awareness essential’
I say: ‘Plane sailing at the pumps?’
10. Aircraft cleaner
They say: ‘Must have full British driving licence and a head for heights’
I say: ‘Prepare for landing cleaning job – with wings on’